Pre-nuptial Agreements Aren’t Romantic But They Could Work For You
There has been a great deal of talk right across the media and other quarters this week about pre-nuptial agreements legally binding. We in Ireland may think that that is all very ‘Hollywood’ and nothing to do with us.
Let’s first look at what lies behind these agreements. It’s basically to try and reduce or eliminate altogether the emotional hurt and anguish that generally goes along with a divorce. When we are in love we cannot conceive how we could end up like those immature people squabbling over who has the settee.
We at Relationships Ireland know only too well how when a relationship breaks down all the hurts from the past are suddenly thrust into the present. Those hurts and resentments have been festering for years.
We have all heard about spurned lovers taking the other’ for everything they’ve got’. These are not ‘bad’ people, they are just very hurt. They are hurt for many reasons; for their wasted past, their terrible present, and the future they no longer have.
A wounded person can be unpredictable so there could be a need for a pre-nuptial agreement to try and protect oneself from their actions and to protect our financial assets both now and into the future.
It’s not very romantic though, is it? We want to marry for love and to believe our intended will do us no harm. However, experience sometimes tells us something different. We (sort of) already make a pre-nuptial agreement in the wedding ceremony. We attest that we will stick with someone ‘in sickness and health, for richer or poorer’ . So agreements are nothing new.
We, generally, are better off than ever before. Our house, for example, is our biggest asset. If that house has been in our family for generations many will say; “why should a wife or husband of only a few years be able to take 50% of a family’s heritage?” Even worse we it comes to a farm and/or land. The counsellors here in Relationships Ireland would come across these issues many times every year, and pleasant it is not!
We have this odd relationship with money. We don’t like talking about it, bragging how much we have got, and we don’t like people flaunting it in our face, but it is very important to us all the same. I look on these types of agreements as a bit like an insurance policy. It would be the height of folly to drive a car without insurance. Similarly we insure our house against the possibility of damage. So why not our relationship?
At Relationships Ireland we give an excellent pre marriage/co-habitation course for couples. It is a chance to look in the cold light of day at very important issues and money is one of them. Make use of it and save yourselves money and (possibly) a lot of heartache.
We also offer marriage and relationship counselling to work through relationship issues and help you in every possible way to try and prevent separation occurring. However, if the worst comes to the worst, we also run a separation support group which can be invaluable support for anyone going through a break-up.
Tags: marriage, Marriage Preparation, Pre-nuptial agreements