Nollaig na mBan
Fado fado in Eireann we celebrated Nollaig na mBan or Women’s Little Christmas. Tradition had it that the women got together in celebration with the other womenfolk while the menfolk undertook the domestic duties. This tradition acknowledged all the hard work that the women had put into making Christmas special for their families. Equality issues aside, what a nice idea! A special day to show appreciation for the contribution of one’s loved one. Over the years and with the evolving sociological changes in relationship roles and family dynamics Nollaig na mBan has largely died out, although it is still strong in the South West of the Country and seems to be making somewhat of a comeback in some areas. But really, in our modern age of equality and shared tasks, is there a need for such a celebration? Perhaps not but, anecdotally at any rate, it would seem that women do still bear the brunt of the responsibility for making Christmas happen for everyone. But now they may have the added burden of producing the ‘perfect’ Christmas while holding down a career, juggling the demands of family life and looking the part too!
How was your Big Christmas? Did you turn yourself inside out trying to get it all ‘perfect’? Did it work? Did everyone have a great time? All in good cheer? No rows? Family bliss? And did they all appreciate your efforts? If it all went according to plan, well done! And if you are in a sharing relationship where you both take on the responsibility and you resisted the impulse to make it for everyone, double well done! But if you are left feeling exhausted and disappointed that you do not in fact have the perfect relationship and or perfect family perhaps it is time to take stock? Or if things were really difficult with serious arguments and rows that have left you both feeling battle weary perhaps it is time to seek help? Contact us
Perhaps today , January 6th, Little Christmas, which is also the Feast of the Epiphany or the Three Kings bearing gifts, give yourself the gift of space and reflection. Take some time out just for you. Treat yourself. It doesn’t have to cost anything; go for a long walk, a warm bath, reconnect with an old friend. Give yourself credit for all that you do for your loved ones. Perhaps reconnect as a couple, show your appreciation for each other, acknowledge and give thanks for what you both bring to this relationship. Make space for just you as a couple….laugh and dance like there is nobody watching! Or, if one or both of you are unhappy, find the courage to have that difficult conversation. Seek support if you feel you cannot address these issues alone.
Perhaps we can let the spirit of Nollaig na mBan live on in showing our appreciation, gratitude and love for both ourselves and those we hold dear. To borrow from Deepak Chopra, may Peace Harmony Laughter and Love reside in your hearts in 2015.