Stress and Christmas
Stress and Christmas can sometimes go hand in hand. So as we gear up to the Big Day let’s take a little time to reflect on what it is all about. First and foremost…breathe. Breathing is good for the body and soul and, here’s the great thing, we all know how to do it! Thing is we sometimes forget the correct way to breathe and instead of deep abdominal breathing we absentmindedly engage in shallow upper chest breathing which actually adds to stress. So take a moment, relax your body, breathe through your nose right down into your abdomen and then a long slow exhalation through the nose or mouth, whichever you feel more comfortable with. Think of your abdomen like a bellows, as you inhale the bellows expands and as you exhale the bellows contracts. If you lie on the floor and place your hands on your abdomen you will feel the natural rhythm of your breathing. Right, that’s it! That’s all you have to do to reduce stress, slow conscious breathing! Well…ok let’s look at some other things that adds to the stress of Christmas. Expectations run very high at this time of year. We must give the perfect gifts, host the perfect Christmas dinner, clean every nook and cranny in the house because, you know, Santa sees everything and will judge us! If you have children you are entrusted with the task of fulfilling their every wish, no mean task when their wishes can change in the blink of an ad. Then there are families to contend with. Who comes? Who goes? Often for young couples where to spend Christmas can be a source of stress and can be one of the first challenges to the relationship…well after the perfect tree one! We all like to believe that our family of origin’s Christmas is the best and it can be quite a wrench to miss out on this. Some may hold the opposite view and may dread Christmas because their family experience was not so good. As in all challenges and decisions that couple’s will face, try your best to work towards a ‘win win’ outcome. ‘Win lose’ outcomes make for a sense of unhappiness and disgruntlement for the ‘loser’ and even the ‘winner’ can feel it is a hollow victory. ‘Lose lose’ is even worse. Compromise is the key some things you can let go of…some things you can’t. And it is not just about putting other’s needs first. When it comes to having needs met, know what is important to you, bearing in mind that there is a difference between needs and wants. We may not have all of our wants met but if our needs are consistently not met, particularly in an intimate relationship, we can feel very unhappy. And what of time spent with our families? Again, expectations run high as families come together for the perfect Christmas. Independent young (and maybe not so young) adults return home only to find that they somehow revert back to the role of being a child. Parents who have been experiencing a new found freedom from the responsibilities of constant parenting can find themselves firmly pushed back into ‘Mammy and Daddy’ roles. And Mammy is back to providing the perfect Christmas for everyone only this time around perhaps through seething resentment! Desperation can set as we all try to stop the slide into the old family dynamic with all its inherent historic grudges and indignations. There’s only one thing for it…..Breathe Hope you get the Christmas you need!
Tags: Christmas, relationships, stress