It’s been a busy week following the publication of ‘When A Relationship Ends – Surviving The Emotional Rollercoaster of Separation’ – the reaction to an interview with Ryan Tubridy on his show on Thursday last was a strong one and it would seem that many people feel they are trapped in loveless marriages and unable to separate.

There are many reasons why a relationship breaks down and although for many years it was believed that infidelity was the main reason, according to Accountancy firm Grant Thornton’s annual research on divorce , this has now been eclipsed by a gradual eroding of love between the couple – where they grow distant from each other and there is very little left between them in terms of closeness and intimacy.

Whereby we cannot ignore the recession as a block to physically separating, many people still feel that whether it is for religious reasons, or because they have children, or are just plain too scared to leave (the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t), to remain in a kind of twilight zone can bring much personal unhappiness to one or both parties.

Many people see counselling as a last resort, like an admission of failure, to be avoided at all costs. We are not yet a nation that sees this type of service as beneficial to our mental health and wellbeing. We go to the doctor if we are feeling unwell, to the dentist if our teeth hurt and to the mechanic if our car is giving us trouble. And yet our relationship, which is a crucial part of us, isn’t given the same kind of immediate attention when we are ailing.

As a counsellor, I appreciate that it is an incredibly difficult experience to pick up the phone and make an appointment and then follow through by showing up. Who wants to air their personal problems to a stranger anyway? And things might feel so bad, that it’s hard to believe anything will help.

But over 70% of our clients say they want to stay together but somehow they’ve lost the skill that brings warmth to their relationship or perhaps they’ve never had it and just hoped things would change. They have tried and tried and now realise that it’s time to get some help. Many will say, even after the first session, that they notice a change. Things aren’t so tense between them and they hear things that they haven’t heard before that changes their perspective slightly. Some couples take longer than one session – it all depends on how long the problems have been there and also on the individuals themselves.

Do you think your relationship is worth it?