Relationships Gifts at Christmas

Continuing the theme of keeping relationships healthy during difficult times, a group of counsellors came together recently and tried to pinpoint exactly what made happy relationships, what are the qualities that people tell us they value, that make them feel loved and that they try to encourage in their partner or try to do themselves to show love and affection.

Relationships gifts are not something that are wrapped in glittery expensive paper and tied up with an extravagant bow. Rather, they are something much more sensual, as in a warm feeling or an inner glow that comes from giving and receiving which nourishes our vitality and makes us feel alive and more deeply connected to another. It is surprising how the small things are what really matter to love. It is the gift of time, even if it is a few minutes to say hello and kiss in the morning before you face the rest of the world in the form of children and/or work, etc. Or it is the considering of your partner’s need for space or time to themselves and offering this to them – time free of children, housework and other responsibilities. It is giving them the message that you care about them as individuals and not just as a mother/father/provider/housekeeper and so on.

It is appreciating their efforts and noticing by thanking them. It is the smile or laugh from you to him or her that tells them you like being in their company. There’s something quite special about knowing that you’re respected and loved.

Being intimate isn’t just about sex, although that is a component that is important to most relationships. The energy that is required to survive the fast pace of life today does unfortunately mean that sex has a tendency to slide down the list of priorities. Not only does sex take a back seat, but what can also be missing is when you don’t even have time to look in each other’s direction when talking. It is lovely to take even just a moment to hug, cuddle, kiss – to connect with each other physically – it only adds to the closeness and can be a uniquely comforting and reassuring experience.

Although Christmas can be hectic and stressful, we urge people to take time to recognise that a stable, sustaining relationship, although it doesn’t have to cost anything monetarily, is in fact, priceless.

Submitted by: Lisa O’Hara