This Father’s Day - Appreciate your Dad
‘If you think I’m cute you should see my Dad’…such was the wording on a T shirt I once bought my son! Well…I thought it was true ! Seriously though, we Dads like to be seen as heroes to our children (and partners for that matter). Too often, for those lucky enough to have a good Dad, it is only when we become a Dad ourselves that we fully appreciate the effort that ‘the ol’ fella’ put in for us.
Like most things in life we have to learn how to be a Dad. It takes us even longer to learn to be a good one. It’s a lifelong activity trying to find the balance between indulging too much and not enough. In the past Dad was given, or assumed the role, of disciplinarian. Maybe that is still the case. But thank goodness Dad is now, in many families, a ‘multi tasker’, as much at home at doing some DIY as changing nappies and cooking the dinner. Which brings me on neatly to Dad and his changing role in the family. There is much confusion now about how men should be dealing with parenthood and the competing demands of society and employment in particular. The certainties of parental role, and employment are, by and large, gone. Mum’s role is, I would argue, more clearly defined. I would see many good Dads in the counselling room at Relationships Ireland, who would be at their wits end wanting to know what to do to keep everybody (else) happy. He would see his role primarily as a provider i.e. keep bringing in the money. Even when doing this he would tell me he seems always to be in the wrong - NOT doing enough and what he does is NEVER good enough. The pressure can be overwhelming. Here are a few words for Fathers themselves,
“A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove….But the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child” (Anonymous).
So let us stop and give thanks for our Dad. He isn’t perfect (who is?). He may get grumpy (who doesn’t ?). But when you need that extra bit of support and courage and motivation it’s your Dad who is there. He may not show you his vulnerable side that often, and you may ask ‘Does he ever worry about anything’? Well the answer is , YES, he worries about you, but you’d never guess! Dad isn’t just a human wallet stuffed full of euros and credit cards, he’s actually someone who needs more hugs, smiles and kisses than you would ever know - so give him some to-day. You and he will feel all the better for it.
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