There’s more to Valentine’s Day than expensive gifts…

Well there we are now. No sooner has Christmas been and gone than the shops are stuffed full of Valentine’s Day stuff. I wonder does it ever occur to some people (no names) how this unrelenting pressure to spend money affects those who are just about surviving? I must come clean and say that I have a particular issue with Valentine’s Day. This day, like Grandparents day, aunties & uncles day and Fido the dog’s day, are just marketing opportunities, or as I would term it , ‘emotional blackmail marketing opportunities’. Yes, yes, yes, the marketers would say, these ‘special’ days give us an opportunity to spoil those we love and say ‘thank you’. No it is another opportunity for them to dip into our wallets and purses and put us further into debt, thus adding more pressure to an already overburdened public. Don’t play that game.

We know that to show real love and affection takes more than a card and a few flowers grabbed from a petrol station on the way home. What is romantic (for both men & women) is the unexpected kind word or gesture. So often in the counselling room clients would tell me that it is the ‘small’ things their partner does for them that mean the most.

We do not need to spend lots of money we don’t have. Of course some will throw their hands up in horror because they will see less money going into their till….well too bad. The emotional blackmail involved with this day is huge. Men, especially, worry that they will get the wrong present, the wrong flowers, card, wine etc. We will have to text, and do a whole manner of things to stop getting into trouble.

Here is one non romantic thing we can do two or three times a year; instead of spending money on a ‘romantic’ dinner we won’t enjoy, gather up all the weeks washing and take it to the shop and get someone else to do it. Give him/her a break from the tedious business of washing and ironing. With the free time that gives you, run a bath for your nearest and dearest, and tell them they deserve a break for all they do in the year. Believe me there is nothing romantic about washing and ironing! In all the wedding magazines they fail to mention all the domestic duties. So any relief we can give to these boring and mind numbing duties will be welcomed with open arms, not just on valentine’s day but through the rest of the year as well. Think about it!